Raise up a Steeler in the Way She Should Go…


Big-BenPractically-Perfect Daughter, who heads off to Christian college in a little over two weeks, is now sweet on a particular young man who is part of our church, and who also (unrelated to her decision, incidentally) will be heading off soon to that same Christian college. He’s a fine young man; I work with him at Chick-fil-A and enjoy his company, and while of course there is no young man on earth worthy of my daughter, I guess he’s close enough…

With one exception. You see, this young man has loyalties to the Dallas Cowboys. Yes, Satan’s Team. His excellent taste in taking a shine to my daughter is counteracted by his utterly awful taste in football teams. A mind is a terrible thing to waste…

Unfortunately, my wonderful niece, who is a precious, dear girl who is herself heading to Christian college this fall, is afflicted by this selfsame shortcoming; namely, that in her raising, my otherwise level-headed sister utterly failed in the task of developing a loathing for the Cowboys in the girl. In fact, quite the opposite occurred: she is herself a dyed-in-the-wool, unapologetic fan of the Dark Side.

All of this background leads to a conversation between Practically-Perfect Daughter and Beautiful Niece, the text of which I reproduce verbatim since PPD forwarded it to me. She writes:

“H_______ told me that I would conform to be a Cowboys fan and this was my response.

Psh…you gotta fight the power!! Did Noah survive because he followed everyone else and acted like nothing was wrong? No! He got up and built himself an ark and survived! He got made fun of and no one sided with him except his family. And the Steelers fan base is my family and in the end, just like Noah, we will reign victorious. So stick that in your juicebox and suck it!”

Kinda makes me mist up, you know?

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