Top Ten Signs that 2000 Won’t Be Your Year in Fantasy Football

10. You’re excited about your 3 “keepers” from last year: Dan Marino, Michael Irvin, and Fred Lane.
9. You can’t shake the feeling that “this year’s Kurt Warner” is Jim Druckenmiller.
8. You drafted Karim Abdul al-Jabbar because you think that the “al” will give him a psychological boost.
7. You relied heavily on your special friend, Mike Brown, for cutting edge drafting advice.
6. Your other buddy, Rich Kotite, will be advising you on week-to-week lineup decisions.
5. You’re betting the wad on Andre Hastings!
4. Your running backs: Garner, Williams, Davis, and Anderson. Their first names: James, Andy, Geena, & “Whispering Bill”.
3. You petition the league commissioner to be able to play three tight ends in your lineup.
2. In the draft, you went heavily for your favorite team’s players. Your favorite team? The Frankfurt Galaxy.
1. Four words: “At quarterback, Ryan Leaf!”