BYRON HARVEY

Let’s get this out of the way first: as a person, I like Eli Manning. Cool guy, nice foil for Peyton, would probably be fun to hang out with.

But this is getting serious: Eli Manning is a finalist for the Pro Football Hall of Fame…and it’s an utter travesty. Utter to the uttermost. There is no sane argument (read: no sane argument advanced by a person who is not one of the 231 New York Giants fans on earth) for designating Eli Manning a football immortal.

I will make that argument loudly and clearly in a moment, but first a quick aside on what a Hall-of-Fame should be, and that is “a place reserved for only the truly greatest of the great in a given sport.” The Baseball Hall-of-Fame continues in the process of degrading itself into “The Arbitrarily Chosen Hall-of-Pretty-Darn-Good”; it’s been on this path for some time, mainly (though not exclusively) propelled by whatever iteration of the “Veterans Committee” is currently in vogue. Quickly, the “Veterans Committee” (or whatever MLB is calling it now) has one task: comb back through baseball history to discover players that the initial voters–those closest historically to the “action”–made the “mistake” of not electing the first time through (generally defined as something like “a player only had 10-15 YEARS on the ballot to be chosen”). Note: the Negro League players are in a different category and my comments here do not apply to them; they didn’t get recognition for obvious reasons (which begin with good ole-fashioned racism).

Now we can have a nice argument about why the Baseball Writers of America are the ones to select Hall-of-Famers, and I am very, very open to changing that…but that’s not the point for the moment. The point is that the “Veterans Committee” should be disbanded today, if that’s the soonest it can happen, but if we could go back, oh, say forty years, that’d be even better. Do I think the BBWA always got it right? Nope. Are there players who I think they missed the first time who deserved Cooperstown whom the Vets let in? Yep, with Ted Simmons as a prime example. Are there yet players who clearly should be there who aren’t yet who may get “justice” from the Vets? Possibly, with Lou Whitaker at the top of that list.

But still, on balance, the Vets Committee is a bad thing, first, because the voters who lived closer to the players’ times rejected them, and second, because they seem hell-bent on mixing very good players with the actual greats of the game. Harold Baines is, of course, the most egregious example of this (funny that a couple old White Sox people were on the small committee that ushered Harold into immortality), but there are plenty of others; go back a number of years and Bill Mazeroski got in, and more recently Tony Oliva and now Dave Parker, and there are others. Stop this steamroller of worth-inflation!

The point is that the Cooperstown continues to be cheapened…and the plea is not to do the same to Canton.

Which the election of one Elisha Nelson Manning would clearly and unmistakably do. Because you should get into the Hall on the basis of more than being Super Bowl MVP twice (or having the Manning surname), and when you boil it down, THAT’S THE ONLY REASON…THE ONLY REASON…why Eli’s name is even in consideration.

Let’s break this down…over the course of Eli’s non-illustrious-but-reasonably-decent career, he was basically a slightly-better-than-average-(but only slightly) NFL quarterback. Perusing Facebook last evening, somehow a NY Giants Fan Page popped up on my feed, and some blind loyalist offered that “Eli checks all the boxes” for the Hall. I nearly crashed the car at 75 MPH! No, no, wasn’t actually moving at the time I read that…and I thought, “exactly what ‘boxes’ does Eli check?” I can think of one: the aforementioned two SB MVPs, and I don’t mind one whit giving him his due* for those victories, particularly since they came at the expense of Shady Brady, Bill Belicheat, and the Patriots.

How do I know that Eli was only slightly better than average? Well, as they say, “you could look it up”. Start with his passer rating. Now, since I don’t have an advanced degree in applied nuclear physics, I don’t understand how the old QB rating system works (I don’t understand the new one either, but at least now “perfection” is “100”, instead of the old system’s “158.3”).  But my understanding of either system is irrelevant: both systems measure the right things (actually, the new is better, I think, because it rewards QBs who contribute by running the ball…but of course Eli Manning was not known as a mobile QB, so he’d likely fare worse with Total QBR–I haven’t looked that up, I confess). During Eli’s time in the NFL, there were 32 teams, as there are now, which means that the average QB in the NFL would be maybe 16th or 17th in passer rating. Take all of Eli’s seasons together, and his average is maybe 14th or 15th…a tad better than average.

“Well, but how did his teams actually do?” Glad you asked…while I am the last person to give much stock to a QBs win/loss record (football being the ultimate team sport), if you are going to use the dubious yardstick of “Super Bowls won” to measure a QB, then use all wins/losses, and during his time at QB, the Giants were an astonishing, immortal…117-117. So much for that “box”. He did play a long time, and didn’t miss any games due to injury; great, give him a really BIG Participation Trophy.

“Well, what about individual years? Didn’t he have some really great years?” Again, glad you asked; let’s review the record. He never once led the league in any statistical category; not even once. Wait…I am wrong about that; did I say he never led the league? Oopsie…he led the league in interceptions thrown…THREE TIMES. He does hold two league records: he threw a 99-yard touchdown pass, a record which can, of course, only be tied but never broken. Oh, and he holds the all-time record for total…fumbles.

“But surely we’re missing something; he won some awards in individual seasons, right?” Yeah, for a guy to go to the Hall-of-Fame, he’s bound to have either an MVP or as least some high voting finishes to his name, you’d think. Except Eli doesn’t. Never once did he sniff an MVP. One time…and only one time…he placed sixth in the “Offensive Player of the Year” voting. He was never once named All-Pro (his brother was so named seven times; Tom Brady only three; go, Peyton!). He was named to four Pro Bowls, though I don’t know if he was actually chosen (probably was, at least once or twice) or if he was an “injury replacement” (the immortal Brett Hundley made the Pro Bowl a couple years back when, apparently, every other quarterback in the AFC was on life-support).

Summing up, Eli Manning was a player with great longevity, enabling him to play at a consistent, slightly-above-average level for a long time, and twice being the winning quarterback, yea the MVP, of Super Bowls. Does this sound like a Hall-of-Fame resume to you, “ticking off all the boxes”?

No, but the very thought of him in Canton does tick off NFL fans who understand–and appreciate–true greatness.

*I put an asterisk after this because you need to know the story of why Eli won two Super Bowls instead of one, and I’m happy to tell you.  Everyone remembers David Tyree’s miraculous catch of an Eli pass that kept the Giants matriculating the ball down the field and led to the game-winning pass to Plaxico Burress. But do you remember the play directly before the Tyree catch? Go watch it on YouTube; I didn’t have to. On the play before, Eli attempts to throw an out-pattern to a receiver near the sideline, and the ball goes essentially nowhere near the receiver. Now, was it just a lousy throw, or did the receiver goof up? Don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter. What IS germane, though, is that Asante Samuel lets the game-clinching interception slip through his fingers. It wouldn’t have been a cinch catch; it did require him to jump. But it’s clearly a play he not only could have, but should have, made. He catches that ball, the Pats run out the clock, Brady has another Super Bowl win to his “credit”.

And Eli now has only one win and one MVP.

And if that happens, nobody in their right minds considers Eli Manning a Hall-of-Famer…nobody. In other words, Asante Samuel makes one moderate-degree-of-difficulty catch, and this conversation is laughable.

And that’s why Eli Manning needs to buy a ticket to Canton, just like the rest of us.