I assume that at some point in my 53+ years, I have endured at least a copious portion or two of the State of the Union address. I say that I must have, but to say I remember anything of significance emanating from this pretentious waste of time would be wide of the mark. Presidents of both parties blather on as though they are in the throes of a fevered re-election campaign, followed by the requisite response offered by the opposition party, an equally-worthless piece of political grandstanding. This year, someone named “Cathy McMorris Rodgers” is offering her perspective. I can hardly wait.

Top Ten Things I’d Rather Watch than the State of the Union Address

1. Bicentennial Man. A wretched movie. Still, better than this debacle.
2. Any fishing show. Painful.
3. Honey Booboo marathon, anyone?
4. Those insufferable State Farm “Discount Double-Check” commercials over and over.
5. “An Inconvenient Truth”–in Swahili. Actually, Swahili would make it much easier.
6. Richard Sherman trying his hand at Shakespeare.
7. Eminem…this is getting harder.
8. “Girls”. Yeccch.
9. The View. Reaching for the barf bag…
10. MSNBC…no, wait, it’s really not that bad.

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