This comes from the “Out of Ur Newsletter”, delivered weekly to my inbox courtesy of Christianity Today.  These are recent quotes from pastors:

“If you’re going to catch a fish, you have to have bait. If it takes a helicopter dropping 5,000 eggs to get people to come to church, it’s worth it. There are souls to save.”
—Matt Woodfill, pastor of The Woodlands Christian Center in Houston describes his church’s Easter outreach strategy.

“They’re coming for the loot and they’re going to leave with Jesus.”
—Pastor Bill Cornelius from Bay Area Fellowship Church in Corpus Christi, Texas, about giving away 16 cars and 15 televisions during their Easter celebration.

“Barbie’s very versatile that way. She’s open to new possibilities, so evangelism is definitely in her future.”
—Rev. Dena Cleaver-Bartholomew, rector of Christ (Episcopal) Church, in Manlius, New York, and the creator of Episcopal Priest Barbie Facebook page.

“We paid the electric bill, we paid the heat, we paid the bills.”
—Pastor Robert Farah of Center Harbor Christian Church in New Hampshire, explaining what he did with $470,000 his son allegedly stole from investors and donated to his father’s church.

If I agreed with any of the philosophies espoused by these pastors, I believe I’d quit pastoral ministry tomorrow (although I’m not sure about the Barbie thing…).  Thoughts, y’all?

10 responses »

  1. Hefe says:

    “They’re coming for the loot and they’re going to leave with Jesus.”

    And then there are those who maybe came for Jesus, and instead got a big screen TV…

  2. Mark Merritt says:

    If they left with Jesus, wouldn’t that mean they missed the service?

  3. Derlin says:

    What does dropping 5,000 eggs out of a helicopter do other than make a mess?

    If Pastor Farah’s church was huge and in Antarctica, I might believe his usage of the money. New Hampshire can get cold, but that cold?

  4. Jack Brooks says:

    Why don’t they just hand out cash? Maybe that’s too stark.

  5. Don says:

    I kid you not, last November at our annual state denominational meeting one speaker pulled out a paper sack filled with dollar bills and proceeded to hand them out to every pastor in the place so that no one would have an excuse not to give at least SOMETHING to missions this year. I still have mine sitting on my desk.

  6. Graham says:

    With the Barbie one, I remember that day in November 1992 when the Church of England voted to allow women to be ordained to the presbyterate.

    Later that evening, someone had pinned a mock “Reverend Barbie” poster on the chapel notice board.

  7. sts says:

    Excellent post i am sure that i will come back here soon

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