What Some Preachers are Saying…

This comes from the “Out of Ur Newsletter”, delivered weekly to my inbox courtesy of Christianity Today.  These are recent quotes from pastors:

“If you’re going to catch a fish, you have to have bait. If it takes a helicopter dropping 5,000 eggs to get people to come to church, it’s worth it. There are souls to save.”
—Matt Woodfill, pastor of The Woodlands Christian Center in Houston describes his church’s Easter outreach strategy.

“They’re coming for the loot and they’re going to leave with Jesus.”
—Pastor Bill Cornelius from Bay Area Fellowship Church in Corpus Christi, Texas, about giving away 16 cars and 15 televisions during their Easter celebration.

“Barbie’s very versatile that way. She’s open to new possibilities, so evangelism is definitely in her future.”
—Rev. Dena Cleaver-Bartholomew, rector of Christ (Episcopal) Church, in Manlius, New York, and the creator of Episcopal Priest Barbie Facebook page.

“We paid the electric bill, we paid the heat, we paid the bills.”
—Pastor Robert Farah of Center Harbor Christian Church in New Hampshire, explaining what he did with $470,000 his son allegedly stole from investors and donated to his father’s church.

If I agreed with any of the philosophies espoused by these pastors, I believe I’d quit pastoral ministry tomorrow (although I’m not sure about the Barbie thing…).  Thoughts, y’all?

10 Comments

  1. Hefe on April 16, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    “They’re coming for the loot and they’re going to leave with Jesus.”

    And then there are those who maybe came for Jesus, and instead got a big screen TV…

  2. Mark Merritt on April 16, 2010 at 10:40 pm

    If they left with Jesus, wouldn’t that mean they missed the service?

  3. Derlin on April 17, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    What does dropping 5,000 eggs out of a helicopter do other than make a mess?

    If Pastor Farah’s church was huge and in Antarctica, I might believe his usage of the money. New Hampshire can get cold, but that cold?

    • Byron on April 17, 2010 at 8:04 pm

      Plastic, candy-filled eggs, I’m sure.

  4. Jack Brooks on April 20, 2010 at 7:17 am

    Why don’t they just hand out cash? Maybe that’s too stark.

    • Byron on April 20, 2010 at 10:02 am

      You know, there was a church a couple years back that actually did that. Seriously.

  5. Don on April 20, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    I kid you not, last November at our annual state denominational meeting one speaker pulled out a paper sack filled with dollar bills and proceeded to hand them out to every pastor in the place so that no one would have an excuse not to give at least SOMETHING to missions this year. I still have mine sitting on my desk.

    • Byron on April 20, 2010 at 1:47 pm

      Sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction.

  6. Graham on April 20, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    With the Barbie one, I remember that day in November 1992 when the Church of England voted to allow women to be ordained to the presbyterate.

    Later that evening, someone had pinned a mock “Reverend Barbie” poster on the chapel notice board.

  7. sts on April 25, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    Excellent post i am sure that i will come back here soon

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