Relax…this is not a political commentary about James Dobson or Jeremiah Wright; rather, it’s a link to a site where you can find

A Scientific Attempt To Create Most Annoying Song Ever

Here’s the set-up:

An online poll conducted in the ’90s set Vitaly Komar, Alex Melamid and David Soldier on a quest to create the most annoying song ever. After gathering data about people’s least favorite music and lyrical subjects, they did the unthinkable: they combined them into a single monstrosity, specifically engineered to sound unpleasant to the maximum percentage of listeners. The song is not new, but it recently resurfaced on Dial “M” for Musicology.

Amazingly, this “most unwanted music” contains little dissonance — that would have been too easy. For the most part, they seem to have tried to assemble these elements in a listenable way.

Komar & Melamid and David Soldier’s list of undesirable elements included holiday music, bagpipes, pipe organ, a children’s chorus and the concept of children in general (really?), Wal-Mart, cowboys, political jingoism, George Stephanopoulos, Coca Cola, bossanova synths, banjo ferocity, harp glissandos, oompah-ing tubas and much, much more. It’s actually a fascinating listen, worthwhile for the opera rapping alone. (We didn’t think that was possible either.)

You can listen to, and actually download, the entire nearly-22-minute production. Not that you’d want to. But if you’re really in a mood to be annoyed, I gotta tell ya, these guys hit one out of the park…

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