Michael Medved provided some great entertainment for Crazy Teenager and me last week as we drove down the road together. He was interviewing a gentleman named Kewaunee Jack Lapseritis (highly contagious, that Lapseritis!). Ole Kewaunee Jack has written a…ummm…wonderful?…book named The Psychic Sasquatch. O…K!

Kewaunee Jack LapseritisHere’s a page of excerpts from what Kewaunee Jack has to say, and here are some excerpts from the, uh, excerpt page. Enjoy!

Though this particular subject may open Pandora’s box, I feel it only fair to relate what the Bigfoot creatures told me and others about humanity’s genesis. The Sasquatch people told four separate witnesses that their ancestors were brought here by more advanced beings millions of years ago on spaceships during the age of the dinosaurs. They also claimed that their people lived through the Ice Age and a gigantic world flood…….

Ed. Note: You know, you’ve got to admire Kewaunee Jack’s basic fairness…

………Sasquatch told six percipients that they periodically enter a portal, a vortex leading to another dimension, where there are plants, animals and people living their lives. There are vortices in outer space as well as on Earth, they said. Millions of years ago it took the Starpeople approximately ten years Earth time to traverse time and space by entering a series of vortices that allowed them to “dimension-hop” and reach other planets in the vastness of space in a relatively short period of time. Today, since more vortices have been discovered and the synchronicity of their opening is better known, spaceships (UFOs) are able to travel between Earth and their home planet in some cases, within an hour’s time! This is what the Sasquatch shared. Since some race of Starpeople had to discover this first, it is remotely possible that Earth was being visited as far back as one billion years ago…….

Ed. Note: The Starpeople toured briefly with Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young in the early 70s (I think…or was it Mott the Hoople?).

Whenever glowing red eyes are reported from a Sasquatch sighting it means the man-creature feels threatened and is preparing to dematerialize if it becomes necessary. At times only two red eyes are seen by a witness, with no visible body. Here they are literally between dimensions, protecting their physical bodies while still playing peek-a-boo from the safety of that para-physical zone.

Ed. Note: So that’s what I’ve been seeing!

Levitation is another anomaly that has been reported. Two Oregon loggers in a truck going 35 miles per hour chased a ten-foot Sasquatch, and it left them behind. When the creature came to a sharp bend in the road where a dangerous cliff existed, without hesitation it leaped into the air, falling out of sight. With flashlights in hand, the men shone their beam into the rocks below, expecting to see a dead Sasquatch. To their amazement, there was nothing! No corpse or any sign of the creature was found. Did Bigfoot levitate to protect itself, or did it blip into the safety of another dimension to avoid smashing into the rocks below?

Ed. Note: Forerunners of the Flying Nun?

In 1985, I was told by a Sasquatch that they consider themselves the first “people” to populate this planet and that they were brought here millions of years ago by their -friends, the Starpeople. He said there were “no humans on Earth except themselves. There were bipedal human-types that the Bigfoot considered “animals” because the creatures were so unevolved that they had not yet discovered fire. The Sasquatch said that they eventually taught these primitive Earth hominoids how to use fire. Could they be speaking of Homo erectus? There is no evidence that Australopithecus had that ability; Homo erectus was the first. Interestingly, Gigantopithecus and Homo erectus lived in an overlapping time frame of existence as well as in the same geographic region-China.

Ed. Note: You know what’s coming next, don’t you? “(AP) Psychic Sasquatches claim that they are the first people to populate the planet, and they’ve lined up attorneys to press their claims in federal court.” With our court system the way it is today, would you bet against them?

When I asked a Bigfoot, “what about Adam and Eve?” he replied, “I don’t know anything about Adam and Eve. If you want to know about them, you’ll have to wait and ask our friends the Starpeople, because they are the ones who brought them.” This was shocking to me indeed. He went on to say that we hairless humans were seeded later, each race being released on a continent best suited for its survival. This includes Homo Neanderthals and Cro-Magnon.

Ed. Note: “In the beginning were the Starpeople, and the Starpeople…”

“Does that mean you are the missing link?” I asked.

“No, you people are the missing link. You don’t know where you’ve come from or where you’re going!” he retorted with a chuckle…….

Ed. Note: What a jokester, that psychic Sasquatch. I suppose that runs counter to the Jack Links Beef Jerky commercials (“Messin’ with Sasquatch”) that portray the Big Fella as being humorless, huh?

One can only hope that Kewaunee Jack is writing the screenplay for this even as we speak…

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